The idea of finding God "for yourself"--meaning, in ways you choose, at times and places meaningful or convenient to you, or in bits and pieces that reinforce your own personal narrative--means that any God you find will most likely not be the God who revealed himself in Jesus
Imagine that you were going to die as soon as you finished reading this. Imagine further that after you died your entire life and legacy was judged solely on the basis of your current concrete creative output.
If you don't believe that God is interested in and capable of actually transforming your life--cultivating in you genuinely new and healthy patterns of thought and action and so overcoming sin and growing you into maturity--then you will be always already discouraged. It is incredibly burdensome to live out each day mentally assenting to things you're unable to consistently carry out in practice.
Within a short span of time I encountered representatives of two groups that make many people uncomfortable, though admittedly for different reasons: homeless men and the give-you-a-religious-tract-on-the-street-corner guy. The rub here--and why I bothered to write this at all, which most assuredly was not to commend myself for the twenty or so minutes I spent talking with some homeless men--is that when you get right down to it those of us who follow Jesus never have the right to pigeonhole anybody, ever.